You Have a Mental Disorder and Your Actions are Proof

I had always observed this vaguely, but only recently did I start giving it more attention and thought. That curiosity led me to some truly fascinating insights about how the human mind works.

It started with small things. A friend who passionately advocates for sustainability but casually throws plastic bottles in the trash. Someone, including myself who talks about how important health is, but skips sleep and lives on junk food. Another who says they hate drama and dramatic people, but is always found in the middle of all gossips.

I am sure that we all belong to the category who say they value honesty, then sugarcoating something just to avoid a difficult conversation. It made me wonder: why do we so often act in ways that contradict our beliefs? This thought kept ringing in my mind, and that's when another personal story hit me.

One of my pals was a vocal supporter of the government’s demonetization policy few years ago (I have intentionally refrained from mentioning the country where this happened and from disclosing any further details about my friend or the policy's outcome)—fully endorsing the move to wipe out black money and force financial transparency. I remember him praising the government’s bold stand and going on about how everyone should pay their fair share of taxes.

But here is where it got weird. At the same time, this same friend was doing everything possible to protect his own stash of unaccounted cash. He used every trick in the book—depositing money into others’ accounts, rotating it back slowly, doing just enough to make his black money turn white. He was supporting the war against black money in public, while evading it in private.

At first, it felt like pure hypocrisy and I brushed it off. But the more I looked around, the more I realized this wasn’t just about him. This is something a lot of us do, often without realizing it. People were not bad, they were thoughtful and even self aware individuals.

I am reading a lot of psychology books and watching more of such podcasts these days out of interest in the subject and also to find answers to such weird phenomenon to which we all are part. Here once again I had a question - "why do we so often act in ways that contradict our beliefs?" and I decided to dig deeper for an answer.

Soon enough, I stumbled upon something that completely reframed how I saw this behavior.

Cognitive Dissonance

Apparently, there’s a name for this inner tug-of-war. It’s called Cognitive Dissonance—a term coined by psychologist Leon Festinger back in the 1957. It describes the mental discomfort we feel when our actions don’t align with our beliefs or values.

While we endeavor to see ourselves as rationale beings, the world around is messy. We say we care about something deeply, and yet we act in ways that contradict that care. That contradiction creates a kind of emotional discomfort. Adhering to our ingrained survival instincts, our brain steps in to reduce this discomfort to keep us stable.

So what do we do? We justify. We rewrite our beliefs without realizing it. We buy expensive stuff and then talk to ourself to believe it was a “great deal” or this was a need and not indulgence or perhaps the quality of the thing deserves the price. That’s cognitive dissonance at work.

Paying taxes hurts most people, and your brain supports by saying you earned this money and that you are not doing anything wrong in trying to keep it (it's not theft, it's your own money) and everyone does that. Dissonance again !

What Really Blew My Mind

Interestingly, this isn’t some rare disorder that affects only a few people. It's something nearly every single person experiences regularly and often invisibly. It's like a psychological immune system. We constantly tweak our thoughts and beliefs to protect our self-image.

And as I learned, it’s not always bad. Sometimes it motivates us to actually change our behavior for the better. Other times, though, it traps us in cycles of avoidance, denial, or even self-sabotage.

So… Can It Be “Cured”?

While cognitive dissonance isn’t exactly a disease, understanding it is the first step to managing it. The “cure" lies in awareness.

Here’s what’s been helping me:

Be aware and notice when your actions don’t align with your values. Get curious, not judgmental. Reflect on why the conflict exists. Is it fear? Habit? Social pressure?

Realign either your behavior or your beliefs, whichever takes you towards who you really want to be.

It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

So next time you notice someone (or yourself) acting against their (your) values, don’t rush to call it fake or hypocritical. It might just be cognitive dissonance at work. And now, at least, you’ll have a name for that weird feeling we all get when we know something is not going all well, but still we keep doing it anyway.

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#CognitiveDissonance #Psychology #HumanBehavior #MindsetMatters #Mentallurgy #SelfAwareness #Mind